A little update

Hello there! It has been a long time since the last update.
Seriously, I don't have time for this.
Form 6 life with new semester system is torturing.
So, if anyone ever ask me about "should I enter form 6"
My answer will be NO!
If it is still using the terminal system, I will say YES, but semester system, I am so sorry, I have to say NO.

Well, just finished my sem 2 and I feel that this semester is better compared to sem 1.
Maybe is because of the experience gain in sem 1,
I feel that I am more hard-working in sem 2.
I can't promise with a flying colour result, but I have tried my best!

Holidays life is great. But I will get bored soon.
But anyway, I think I don't really have the chance to get bored.
This is because I am going to KL with my buddy tomorrow and will be back on next Wednesday.
Hopefully I would get some nice stuff.

He went to KL Dong Zen to volunteer himself to help out in a camp which will held on 26 to 2nd of June.
But he went down KL earlier on 17 May, which is before my exam.
Frankly speaking, without him with me at here, I feel lonely.
Although we have short conversation, but I still miss him very much.
But the conversation doesn't stay long after he enter Dong Zen.
Could say, we already didn't on call for almost 5 days.
And this is the part which make me most suffer and pissed off every single time.

Sleeping late at night, this be the reason why he couldn't make it for the call.
But what to do, he have something to busy with and me, should not put the blame on him.
I just could not control myself.
I am so emotional recently and I let go all my anger and temper on him for more than once.
Please forgive me.
I will get mad is just because I care. Can you understand that?
Seeing you sleeping late at night and this is just the preparation period.
I don't expect you can sleep well during the camp is running.
But at least, why can't you get a good rest during these few days?
Yes, I am mad, but have you ever think why I should get mad if you are not important for me?
Replying message like a thousand years once.
Escape from the problems I voice out.
And you don't even get me a chance to listen to your voice and let me at least can feel that you care.

I am always in the emotional mood when you step into Dong Zen, but why?
Because there is no communication between us.
I don't blame you for replying message slow, but please don't ignore my message.
I type a long message for you, and you don't even respond to it. You just simply read it and skip it.
Do you know how I feel when you did that?
You make me feel you don't give a damn on it. Just simply throw it aside.
And you only respond if I asked.
Do you know when I keep asking, I feel myself is so annoying?
What I mean by no respond is, you never tell me whether you agree or disagree with what I say.
You did not tell me how you feel, whether in the same way as mine or different.
Don't 'assumed' that I know every single thing. I am not God.
We need to talk, need to exchange our point of view, need to communicate!
If you explain to me, I will listen. I am not that stubborn.
But I can't take it when you just simple like throw me aside.
That is really shit feeling you know!
What you feel you can tell me, maybe like every time you are busying and I message you, so you couldn't reply correctly. YOU CAN TELL ME!
Or maybe you really miss me but you don't know how to type it out or just anything! YOU CAN TELL ME!!
Or else, how do you expect me to know?!

Who else I could talk to?
Do you expect me to talk to my parent about these?
Or talk to my friends? They could only give advices and console me. Will the problem being solve? NO.
You know, sometime I will feel tired being too care, being too protective.
When no one understand your feeling.
And the problem have to be pending until 2nd of June.
Will it be solve, it will just being forget? I will leave this question until 2 June.
Hope it will not be a disappointing one.